Plants As A Tool

Serendipity, coincidence, the stars aligning, who knows, but this post earlier today from Crow's Daughter comes at a very relevant time in my life. Lately I've been talking to a friend of mine about plants and herbs and their properties, even going so far as to consider an herbology course.

I tend to think of plants as healers of the physical world, but in reading her post, I have to consider that our physical affects our mental, and vice versa. Perhaps some healing plants would help shake loose the grief that I'm wearing like a shroud these days. There is far more in my life than just the death of my Dad, but it definitely colors my world on a daily basis in a way that I had not anticipated.

I am still in the process of finding tools to get through the rough patches (Dad related or not) and plants as medicine is something I believe in. Not in replacement of Western medicine, but as a supplement to, and in many cases doing far more for my health and wellness than pills ever did. I have certainly felt connected to certain things in the natural world (a specific tree where I live, for example), and the vast majority of people can't help by smile when they see trees changing color or flowers blooming.

Plants also go through natural cycles that we can learn much from and may be better off aligning ourselves with. Taking periods of rest, blooming with wild abandon at others, and creating deep roots when we have found ourselves in a safe space. I've seen plants take over concrete structures and change the very ground beneath us, so I find a wisdom in these green things that cover our planet.

Some comfrey tea may be exactly what I need to let myself heal and remind myself that death is a natural part of life. And that we all return to the Earth from which we came... and that is not a bad thing at all.

The Wisdom of Elders

I delved a little bit into triggers, but there's one thing that I've been actively avoiding, and that is the memorial DVD of my Dad. It's not even the pictures so much as the music, because it reminds me so intensely of those last days, of watching both my parents say goodbye in their way.

My heart broke for my Mom as much as it broke for me, and that's something we don't really talk about in the world of adult child grief. There's the surviving parent that you want to protect and help and comfort, all while going through your own process of losing a parent. This is when being a plane ride away has been the absolute hardest.

We talk often, my Mom and I, and I am very grateful for the relationship that we have. If anything, this experience has brought us closer. But now I find myself missing her more than I ever did. Like she's so near and so far away. And in that, I feel very helpless. Helpless to help her, and helpless in letting her help me with her wisdom of how to deal with this. She has had the experience of losing a parent (parents), and I think her wisdom could be invaluable. But I am still protective of her, and as she has pointed out, maybe I do hold back in processing with her.

When we separate ourselves from our elders, family or otherwise, we separate ourselves from the wisdom that they have to offer. And when they are gone, the wisdom leaves with them, whatever has not been passed on already.

I am thankful that my Dad was full of wisdom and, because he chose his moments, when he did share wisdom we all listened intently. Now, with one parent remaining, I find myself wanting to be near here not only for the reason of being near her (because she's awesome), but to get that wisdom laid on me as well. I don't want to miss anything.