Distraction Helps... Kinda

My everyday life has been a bit hectic lately, and I can't really say that's a bad thing. I'm one of those people that will have a weekend with no plans and by Friday night, I've got at least two things scheduled. I am social, I want to be out in the world, and I appreciate my friends and family immensely.

This weekend is a little different in that all of my activities seem to be crammed into Saturday. This is by design, I know I need some time to myself to prep myself for the upcoming week, get my house in order, all that jazz. But there is a tiny part of me that is dreading Sunday because when I have swaths of free time, I somehow come back to thinking about my Dad and how I don't get to share events with him in the same way anymore.

I also find that I want to somehow paint my grief, but then when I do I end up painting over it because I don't necessarily want or need that lingering on my walls. This insane process of getting through loss does, apparently, get more manageable over time, and I'm not sure I want to have some permanent reminder (except this blog) of how much this royally sucks.

Distraction. I need to both use it to my advantage and recognize that if I'm constantly distracting myself, I'm not letting myself heal as I need to.